Freedom, then Regret

 

I once read an article that satirized the current economic condition of Timor-Leste. It’s said Timor-Leste only got independence, not welfare like other independent countries. Implicitly, the core of the article said that the people of Timor-Leste would live better if they did not separate themselves from Indonesia. At the time of the 1998 referendum, I was no more than 4 years old. But I still remember my father grumbling when he heard the news that the result of the referendum had won independence for Timor Leste. He said, “So don’t just build an island. We have sandalwood; please take it to make it rich; then we will be poor and poor.” It turned out that my father was insinuating his own country, Indonesia. But not with my mother, who felt that Timor Leste should remain with Indonesia because West Timor had become part of Indonesia (the politics of different countries could be an obstacle to sibling relations; maybe that was what my mother meant). Our relatives and friends who came from post-independence East Timor told us more about the horrors of the massacre than about the developments in East Timor when it was still under Indonesian control.

Based on this story, in my mind, the situation in Dili is not much different from that in Kabul. Moreover, in 2003, broadcasts in the mass media only showed the condition of the city of Kabul, which was increasingly in ruins, which made me think that Dili was the same way. I am grateful to live in Indonesia because I feel safe compared to living in a newly independent country. My little child’s logic confirmed my mother’s words that there was no point in separating from Indonesia.

When I was in college, several of my lecturers mentioned the exploitation of sandalwood during the New Order era. How can the people of Timor be told to plant sandalwood while the government gets the bigger profit? My logic as a teenager confirmed my father’s opinion at that time. That the separation of East Timor from Indonesia was a consequence of the greed of the New Order regime. Then what about the current economic condition of Timor-Leste? For me, that’s normal; like in a new country, the economic, social, and political conditions are not yet strong. Just like Indonesia at the beginning of independence, he said Indonesia was independent (proclaimed itself) with reckless capital. They only drafted the Basic Law without knowing where to start. Indonesia’s economic condition at that time only breathed capital. Which countries were willing to lend money to Indonesia at that time? Indonesia qualifies as a country that is blacklisted for foreign capital loans. Until finally, our government took a fairly “dirty” way to meet the needs of the country: through the sale of illegal drugs in the Golden Triangle area. Morally, maybe our leaders at that time were wrong, but economically and politically, they did the right thing. If our country has ever gone through a phase like that, how much more is the country of Timor-Leste? Out of the economy, let’s call it corruption as the cause of Timor-Leste’s downfall. Indonesia has also gone through something like this. During the Old and New Orders, corruption and nepotism were rampant, so that the people could not distinguish between what was right and what was not in government. We are indeed more advanced than Timor Leste, but it took almost a century to become a developed country. Timor-Leste is the same way; they are building their own country. It’s not perfect, but isn’t it worth fighting for and supporting?

As neighbors, we cannot only highlight the negative things about the country of Timor Leste; moreover, I, who am NTT, cannot underestimate Timor Leste because, after all, they are my brothers. They are not progressing too slowly; they are just following the phase of a newly founded country.

Haven’t some of us regretted independence because we still live in poverty and do not get welfare? Don’t believe? Take a look at the people who often say that we are not yet independent, because there is no such thing as that. It’s okay to regret, but after that, you have to realize that independence is not only about results but also about the process. In fact, we will never be free as long as we are still bound by the results of the struggle in 1945. Remember that the rice we ate yesterday cannot satisfy us today.

 

Written by : Defrida Lukuaka